Dear Toni,

My name is Ilana Martin and I am a singer. I have been singing my entire; I have a five-range octave and I sing from my heart. I also write my own music and am setting up my own publishing company. Currently, I am working on a film about a struggling singer trying to make it in the music business. My life is going well and I am experiencing considerable amounts of success in my singing career. I am a strong, motivated woman who has followed her dreams. My problem is that because I ask so much of myself, I have a level of perfection that somehow bleeds into what I want for a mate. How do I find a mate who isn’t intimidated by my success and can support me in the way I need?

Ilana Martin

Dear Ilana,

You need to define what it is that you need in terms of support and the whole relationship in general. We women have a tendency to put a lot of pressure on the man’s role in our lives. It is not as simple as it once was a couple of generations ago. Things were very clear for what the female was expected to do and what the male was expected to do. Now that we have melted those boundaries and homogenized them, both have become confused. If you are waiting for the prince on the white horse, you have to be prepared to clean up the horse’s ---! Nothing is perfect and everything is a work in progress. Here is what I’d tell you to do. I have a 21-Day Program that you can download from www.psychicwealth.com. Do this program for 21 Days and find the difference between what you think you want and what you actually need. You’ll find that you’ll start a new pattern for yourself in your choices of mates, but you will also begin to observe the positive things you like in men and begin to attract those types of men. Think of it as a song that you are writing and creating… sing him into your lair. And be kind…

Thank you for taking the time to write.
Toni Attell

Toni Attell is a hypnotherapist and acting coach. For people interested in her acting classes please call (818) 787-8685. For hypnotherapy go to www.hypnosis4you.net